I’m On A Bike!


What a miserable ride today. Cold and wet makes for a very unpleasant morning.  Thank you for coffe shops being everywere.  I spent an hour in one this morning warming up, then spent another couple of hours in one 30 miles later in Akron after losing most of the feeling in my fingers and toes.  Currently in Fort Morgan with at least 80 miles to do tomorrow.  But then I get to take a couple days off.  I was going to wait till one of those days to post my song parody parody, but lets just put it up now.

I present to you my parody of Lonely Island’s parody “I’m On A Boat.”  See the original video here. [NSFW language]

Aww shit, get your helmets ready it’s about to go down
Everybody in the place hit the fucking road
But stay in your motherfucking toe clips
We spinning this, let’s go

I’m on a bike
I’m on a bike
Everybody look at me ’cause I’m riding on a bike
I’m on a bike
I’m on a bike
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking bike

I’m on a bike motherfucker take a look at my feet
Straight cruising on a bike going down the street
Busting speed limits, wind whipping at my face
You can’t stop me motherfucker cause I’m on a bike

Take a picture, trick
I’m on a bike, bitch
We drinking Gatorade champ,
Cause it’s so crisp
I got my bike shorts
And my reflective shirt
I’m ridin’ cross country, you in traffic
Riding to and from work

I’m riding on a Schwinn, doing flips and shit
The puddles splashing, getting me all wet
But this ain’t Tour de France, this is real as it gets
I’m on a bike, motherfucker, don’t you ever forget

I’m on a bike and
It’s going fast and
I got a ridiculous looking farmer’s tan
I’m the king of the world
On a bike like Eddy
If you’re in a car, then you’re sure not ready

Get the fuck up, this bike is REAL!!!

Fuck water, I’m on a bike, motherfucker
Fuck trees, I climb hills, motherfucker
I’m on the road with my boys, motherfucker
This bike chain makes noise, motherfucker

Hey ma, if you could see me still
Legs pedaling fast going down a hill
Gonna fly this bike to the moon I will
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible

Yeah, never thought I’d be on a bike
It’s a long hopefully paved road
Lance Armstrong Look at me, oh

Never thought I’d see the day
When a big bike coming my way
Believe me when I say I rode a hundred today

I’m on a bike
I’m on a bike
Everybody look at me ’cause I’m riding on a bike
I’m on a bike
I’m on a bike
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin’ bike

6 Responses to “I’m On A Bike!”

  1. Dave's Dad says:

    I guess we won’t send this one to your grandmother.

  2. Staples says:

    Great work on this! You’re making sick time on this trek. I imagine the upcoming Rockies will be the hardest part.

  3. J.Ong says:

    lol! Gibbs, tomorrow is century day (you too?) and I wish I could have this song blasting!

  4. Meagan says:

    The consensus here is that you’re fucking hysterical.